vamos con todo a PUERTO VALLARTA.

This past weekend we had a lovely 5 day break so my friends and I headed out to an all-inclusive resort in Puerto Vallarta. My friend, Gon, somehow found some incredible deal from Clickonero that was 1000 pesos for two nights all-inclusive in the Vamar Vallarta.

I honestly thought we were going to arrive and have the receptionist tell us “Oh sorry, that was a scam.” But it WASN’T. Still in shock.

Last Thursday night we hopped on a bus to Puerto Vallarta. 10 hours later we were there bright and early at 6 am (about half of the group). My friend Amy met up with us and took us to this incredible breakfast in the city center.

My camera, unfortunately, died a tragic death in Aguascalientes (as I mentioned before) so I don’t have a lot of photos. They’re all what I stole from my friends and my friends who took the most photos still haven’t uploaded them. Waah.

At 12:00 on Friday we got our wristbands and let the unlimited drinking and eating begin. I probably gained 3403284912 pounds with all of the piña coladas and margaritas that I consumed. And that’s alright. 


Friday, Saturday, and Sunday we literally spent ALL day in the pool. There was a swim-up bar. It was so ballin’. I’m quite tan now. 

Friday night we went to a club called Mandala which was cool but they kept playing electronic music and I hate dancing to that kind of stuff. Saturday night was better because we split up our time at night between Mandala and another club/bar called La Vaquita.



Saturday we had the pleasure (bleck) of watching several wasted people make fools of themselves. First it started with some woman in her 40s who drank way too much. She puked all over the pool deck and then her husband/boyfriend/friend/whoever just wrapped her in some towels and went back to the bar. She was literally in this half-dead state just gagging on her pool chair and he would only come back occasionally to check her pulse. Great guy.

A few minutes later some woman in her 30s/40s was stumbling all around the pool deck. Her family kept trying to push her into the hotel room (she had a first floor room, so her patio faced the pool) and she was just blatantly refusing. 

We (and some Mexican women) started chanting “QUEREMOS SHOW! QUEREMOS SHOW!” (We want a show!) Her family was not amused, lolz.

However, her family liked us later cos we gave them all micheladas that my friend actually ordered instead of Cubas. Micheladas = beer mixed with lime, tomato juice, and chile. Cubas are just rum and coke.


Later that night we were at the bar waiting to go out when this guy just starts puking everywhere (sorry this isn’t the most pleasant blog entry, I know). He was sitting at the bar with his face burrowed in his arm, glass in hand, and he just throws up all over the floor and his pants. It was gross. And then people kept stepping in it. Ew.

Then to top off the night some Mexican dude comes up and is like “OMG WHY DO YOU GUYS SPEAK SPANISH?!” and just being really obnoxious in general. So finally I yell at him “WHY THE * EXPLETIVE* DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!” and he was just like “uhh…video games.” And we were like “Well, we speak Spanish A) because we’re in Mexico and B) because 3 of the people here are from Spain or Argentina.” Then he kept speaking to my Argentinian friends in English. And they were like “WE ARE FROM ARGENTINA.” Then he kept speaking English to my friend from Brazil. Major problem cos my Brazilian friend doesn’t speak English!

We told this guy that I was from South Africa and that Brett (another American) was as well and that we’re cousins. Then we proceeded to say that Paloma (from Argentina who is 23) was my niece because my (older and nonexistent) sister moved to Argentina and fell in love/eloped and had a baby. 

The guy was crazy cos I’m pretty sure he believed it. 

But yeah between the 14 of us there were 10 countries represented. The Mexican guy was just obnoxious though because he was like “OMG YOU GUYS ARE SO FOREIGN AND COOL! I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!” And then he told me he’s darker than me. And I am definitely darker than him. So Idk what that was about.

Anyways, my Sunday evening was more chill because I spent the night at Amy’s house. We went to Starbucks, the movies, and just relaxed. Monday we headed up to Punta de Mita in Nayarit and learned (kind of) to paddle board surf, whatever it’s called. I was so bad at it, regular surfing is easier for me, haha.

I wish one of us had a camera, but alas we don’t so I have no documentation of that day. =/

Well, now I should go work on my essay 4 pages down, 6 to go. Until next time. 🙂

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